


Thirty-Four

by notjustmom



Series: The Boys in Sussex [35]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: After mary, Established Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, F/F, F/M, M/M, Mostly Fluff, No Watson Baby, Post Season 3, Retirement, Sussex, post-Return
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-07-07 03:54:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15900375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notjustmom/pseuds/notjustmom
Summary: The boys and Z and Gladys return from Paris...





	1. Chapter 1

Sherlock watched as Gladys made sure Z had his book, and his pillow exactly as he liked it, a blanket near to hand, in case he got cold, and grinned sheepishly as Z caught his eye and winked at him. One day, if he and John were very lucky, that would be them, and he wondered if they would still be together ten years from now, let alone thirty or forty years - and would they still have family as Gladys and Z did? He looked down at John who was already sound asleep next to him, snoring quietly against his shoulder, and he reminded himself not for the first time that week that they were already two of the luckiest people on the planet. They were headed home, back to Sussex, back to Bliss. He closed his eyes and when the jet took off ten minutes later, he too, was fast asleep.

 

"Sherlock."

"Hmm?"

"We've landed, time to go home."

"Home," he sighed as he blinked and found John kneeling in front of him, smiling that lopsided, beautiful smile of his, and he couldn't help but smile back at him as John stood up and pulled him into his arms.

"Home, love." He kissed him lightly, then grabbed their luggage and bags of souvenirs. Sherlock couldn't help but shake his head at how much he loved the man who looked back at him and rolled his eyes in his direction. "What?"

"Nothing. Just love you."

"Still?" John's eyes twinkled at him and Sherlock couldn't wait until they were finally back in their own bed, with Gertrude at their feet.

"Yep. 'fraid so."

"Seems you have a rather bad case of it."

"Good thing you're a doctor -"

"Boys!" Z grumbled at them, but he couldn't stop the smile in his voice. "Car is waiting, time's a wasting."

"Coming, Z!" They laughed and Sherlock didn't waste another moment on worrying what the future would bring, he just needed to be back home, Paris was lovely for a week, but it wasn't home.


	2. Chapter 2

Sherlock walked Gladys and Z into the cottage and carried their bags to their room, then gave them each a hug, promising to see them for tea in a couple of days and headed back to the car. He turned as he heard Gladys' voice behind him. "Sherlock, wait, dear."

"Glady?"

"No one has ever given us a gift like what you and Doc gave us this last week, it wasn't just going to Paris, and being spoiled as we were, it was being with the two of you. The time you have given us in the last few months, what you've given us - I'm saying this badly, and I know you want to get back home, but, I just want to be sure you know how grateful Z and I are that both of you are here -" 

Sherlock wrapped his arms around her and held her for a long moment, then pulled back to meet her eyes. "It was our pleasure, it was remarkable to see Paris through your eyes, Glady. We are the ones who are grateful to both of you, you have given us a family we'd never thought we would have, we are so very fortunate to know you -"

"Oh, stop, now, young man, you are going to make me cry again." She kissed his cheek, then waved to John who was smiling at her from the car, and turned back to the cottage. "Gingerbread on Tuesday."

"We'll be here."

"I know." 

Sherlock laughed, then watched as she walked into the cottage and waved goodnight to him. He turned back to the car and met John's gaze, and his breath caught as he wondered if he'd ever become accustomed to the love he saw there. No, probably not, not in a hundred years, not in a thousand. Ridiculous, he sighed, as he opened the car door and all but fell into John's lap.

"Home?" John whispered as he smiled down at him and brushed a curl back behind his ear, before kissing him lightly.

"Home."

 

Gertrude glanced up from her place at Molly's feet in front of the fireplace as they entered the house and gave them a long look before stretching and getting up slowly to walk over to them. John dropped his bags and knelt in front of her. "Miss us?" She rolled her eyes and yawned at him as she made her way upstairs, expecting him to follow, which he did. "Night, Molly."

"Night, John."

Sherlock walked over to Molly and helped her up, then looked into her eyes, and held her. "You are going to be amazing, Molly, I know it. And you and Greg won't be alone, Maddie Grace is going to be one loved little girl. Can I make you some tea? Or toast?"

Molly shook her head, and smiled at him. "I'm off to bed, Gert was a bit worried, you know how she gets when you two aren't here." She paused, then kissed his cheek. "Thank you."

His face crinkled in confusion."What for, Moll?"

"For including us, giving us so much, this place, this family you have made here - I don't know that I tell you enough how important the two of you are to us - sorry, hormones."

Sherlock shook his head and kissed her forehead. "Our family wouldn't be complete without the two, the almost three of you, you know that, right? We wouldn't be here without you and Greg. I know that as much as I know anything."

Molly smiled up at him in that way she had that he knew all too well, and he sighed and rolled his eyes at her. "What?"

"Before you two got home, I was remembering the day I met you, how long ago that was - how different you were then, and yet, I think I always knew you had a gift for loving people, you were just afraid to let anyone close to you then; nineteen and you knew everything, or thought you did."

"You were the only one, Molly, the only one who looked at me and saw something human. Something beyond all my baggage and arrogance - that first day, you pushed a cup of coffee into my hands, somehow you knew how much sugar I liked. I was freezing, even with the coat on, and you saw me, Molly, and smiled at me. I think I growled at you."

"You did." Molly laughed. "But then you thanked me, and I could tell you weren't accustomed to someone being kind to you, and you weren't quite sure what to make of me."

"I wasn't. And then I realised you missed your family, as crazy as they made you, you missed them. And I became your family that day, Molly, you made me your family, and I've never forgotten that." He kissed her forehead and smiled at her. "It's getting late. I'll see you in the morning."

"Night, Sherlock."

"Night, Moll."


	3. Chapter 3

January 1 201 - 

 

Dear Everyone at Bliss -

Clara and I just rang in the new year in NYC. I have never seen so many people in my life, it was completely insane. At first, I thought we might just stay in the hotel room and watch from above, but I saw Clara's face, and I knew she wanted to be in that fray, feel it all, so we bundled up and ten minutes before midnight, there we were in that mass of life. And strangely enough, Johnny, it was one of the most freeing things I've ever done. You should be back from Paris when this gets to you, and you have probably already seen the selfies we sent, not sure you can tell it is us, with the layers we were wearing, but we were there. I hope all are well. 

Love to all -

H

 

January 1 201 -

 

Dear Harry and Clara -

New Year's Eve in Paris. We asked Gladys what she would like to do, and she blushed, then cleared her throat and said, "I've always wanted to go to the Moulin Rouge..." So we went, and it was brilliant, and Gladys had the best time. Watching her watch the show, I could see who she might have become, if she had left Sussex for Paris, but then she looked over at Z and smiled at him, and I knew she would have regretted not being with Z more, had she made a different decision. I dream of the time when Sherlock and I have been together so long that we have forgotten exactly how long it has been - and yet I know he will always know the exact moment when he knew that I loved him, when our first kiss happened, he will always know.

Both Z and Sherlock had been to Paris before; Z, during a time of war, Sherlock, when he was tracking down one of Moriarty's cells. Both had been warriors the first time they had been here. He wouldn't tell me exactly what happened when he was here before, and I knew not to press him, but I could tell he was facing down ghosts. He was cheerful, his charm turned on full blast as he acted as translator for the three of us, but when we retired to our room, at the end of the evening of the first couple of days, all he wanted to do was sleep. I've never seen him sleep so hard as he did on those nights. But after those first days, it was as if a switch had been flipped, and I could see in his eyes that he had somehow exorcised whatever demons had been waiting for him here, and I've rarely seen him happier than I have in the last few days.

I look forward to hearing about your trip to the States when you get back - 

Much love,

-J

 

Jan 1. 201 -

 

Gracie -

I know you've seen Paris before, I wonder how much it has changed since the last time you and Em were here - I know how much you loved traveling, and I am enjoying watching Glady finally visiting her dream place, I see in her eyes - what might have been, but then she turns and looks at me and I know, Gracie, I know I was, and am still enough for her. I'll never be able to repay Sherlock and John for that knowledge, that I was enough all these years.

-Z

 

Jan 1. 201 -

 

Martha and Mrs. T -

Paris is just what I thought it would be. M, your Sherlock is quite the tour guide, we of course saw the Mona Lisa, but then he took us to the tiny places no one knows about, we had those places all to ourselves, he would let us just take everything in, then tell us a bit of history, as if he had seen it happen. I know he had been here at a less happy time in his life, and John watched and worried over him for a couple of days, but then I saw a change in him, as if he had been able to forget whatever it was, or perhaps we had just given him a better memory to replace the old. 

Your boys are remarkable, Martha, they are truly lovely...

And yes, I bought both of you many silly Parisian knick knacks, including a few things from the Moulin Rouge, if you can believe it!

Much love, my dears, I hope you will come visit us again soon!

-G


	4. Chapter 4

January 1 201-

 

Dear Myc -

A glorious night at the Moulin Rouge, in all it's sparkly, brilliant chaos, a packed house on the last night of the year. A year that I don't know I would have believed if I didn't live it myself. 

The first two days in Paris brought back everything, everything I had tried not to think about over the last few years, but I got through it. I needed to make this trip everything that Gladys had hoped it to be, so we packed so much into those days that I couldn't stop and think about the recent past, I was too busy being Gladys' tour guide and translator, though she and Z, and John all knew, all sensed I was struggling - I plowed through and they let me without asking me questions I had no answers for, and at night, I was too exhausted for the dreams to find me. On the third day, it was slightly overcast, unusually warm, with a bit of a breeze, and I finally caught my breath, and let it all go, was finally able to see the beauty and light that Gladys could see. I hope when we are settled back home, she will paint again. Perhaps Greg and I can build her a small studio at the farm...

I hope you and Ali had a peaceful time on your honeymoon, I hope the farm was enough, I know Gertrude is as fond of Ali as Ali is of her, I knew she was in good hands, and I hope she won't give us the stink eye for too long, perhaps after a few long walks, we will be forgiven, at least John will. She is definitely more John's than mine, but I will do in a pinch, I do give her the occasional extra treat, not a bribe exactly - oh, fine, yes, exactly a bribe.

 

I want you to know how proud I am of you, you may roll your eyes and grumble a bit, but I know how much you have grown over this year, especially over the last months; without your care and kindness, I would have lost him again, not just when he was hurt, but going back to the time of my return and even perhaps even further back to the time of our meeting, you let me make mistakes, mistakes I needed to make, and yet you knew when to step in and act for me, to bring him home to me. I hope you know, brother mine, that I will always be eternally grateful, no matter what happens in this life and what may or may not follow in the next. I have been so fortunate to have you in my life, I hope you can truly feel that, as well as acknowledge it as a fact you can file away. I apologise for the time it has taken for me to appreciate you fully, what you have given up time after time, mostly in care of me.

John has fallen asleep over his book, the book he has been trying to finish for the last four years, I suppose. Yes, we are becoming middle aged, Myc, but, we are growing older together, I never dreamed I would have this much time with him -

I will close this letter before I become ridiculously over-sentimental, though you'll probably snort and say I'd passed that point a few sentences ago, with a simple wish that the next year brings you everything you and Ali hope for. 

\- S

 

"Myc? What is it?"

"Hmm. Here -" He handed her the one page letter and standing up from the table, went in search of something that would help stop the flood of everything hitting him all at once.

She quickly skimmed the letter and watched as he poured himself a double. "Myc. Love." She waited until he finished the drink, then carefully put the tumbler down and turned to face her. 

"I don't deserve it, Ali."

"Deserve -"

"His forgiveness and his friendship. His gratitude -"

"He loves you, Myc. He is simply offering you a chance to begin again, to become friends, finally, as well as brothers, my dear. He was always a good man, as were you, you both walked around in so much pain - and I'm not even speaking of what happened to you through the centuries, but just in this life, you both endured so much, that it was easier to simply stop feeling anything, the good and the bad, and it is just going to take you time. And you both will have that time. I will make sure of it."

"Ali." Mycroft threaded his fingers through her ash locks and gently drew her closer, kissing her lightly, then sighing as her fingers pulled the tails of his shirt from his trousers and began to work on the buttons of his cuffs. "Al-"

"You deserve all the love in the world, Mycroft Holmes, one day you will know that. You are worthy of love, my dear, you are. Now, I'm going to take you to bed, and then we are going to take that extra week of our honeymoon, and do whatever it is you want to do. Not what you feel you must do, but what you want to do. Am I clear?"

Somehow he managed to clear his throat to whisper, "crystal." She nodded as she took his hands in hers and led him back up the stairs to their room, shutting out the outside world as she closed the door behind them.


	5. Chapter 5

"Morning." John yawned and all but fell into his chair and nodded his thanks as Molly put a cup of tea in front of him.

"Sherlock still asleep."

"Mmhmm." He watched her slowly ease down into the chair next to him and he smiled at her. "How are you feeling?"

"Honestly?"

John nodded and put down his mug carefully. "There are times when I think about - not often, and it's not that I'd ever wish for my life to be anything but what I have - I'm just curious what it feels like, dunno what I mean, exactly."

"Feels like an alien has taken over and I am along for the ride, if you want to know the truth." Molly grinned at him, then reached for his hand and placed it over her abdomen as Maddie gave her a decent thump.

"Whoa." John let his hand rest for a moment and she covered his hand with her own. "That's a heel, wait - did she just flip around?"

"Hmm. How was Paris?"

"Beautiful." He moved his hand back to wrap it around his mug again, and was silent for a few minutes. "Want some toast?"

"Please?"

He got up from the table and got out the loaf of bread, then stopped. "I didn't really know what it was he offering to Gladys when we went. I had known a little about Serbia, but something happened in Paris..." He picked up the bread knife and cut a couple healthy slabs from the loaf, then dropped them into the toaster. "He couldn't tell me - you know that overly bright thing he does when he's trying to process something?" 

"Yeah -"

"He did that for the first couple of days, then on the third day, he had worked it out, somehow, made his peace with it, and it seemed like he caught his breath, like he had just run a marathon at a full sprint, and then stopped?"

Molly nodded, and sipped her tea.

The toast popped up, and he got out the honey and jam, then brought the plates to the table and sat down again. "And then it started to snow. That really lovely soft snow and I watched him look up, then he turned towards me, and caught me watching him, and he took my hand - his eyes - they were like when we got married, you know, like he finally figured something out, something he had fought for, or through and he was back from wherever -" He shrugged and glared into his tea. "I know I'm not making sense -"

"No, you are, I know exactly what you mean. That 'a-ha' thing, but not the case 'a-ha' thing? I've seen it when he's observing you from a distance - and he's learned something new about you. You're his center, his touchstone? When he gets off balance, or lost - most of the time now, he can just catch a glimpse of you and it's enough to get him back, I'm sure in Paris -"

John nodded. "I don't need to know, in fact, I'm sure I don't want to know, but at the same time, if I thought it would help him, if I carried it for him, with him -" He shrugged and took a bite of his toast.

"You are, simply by loving him as you do, you both bear those things for each other, even if you don't know precisely what it is. I've seen him - he has become lighter, hmm, not the right word - he - ever since he met you - he has walked through the world differently, and as time has gone on, he fits better into it, if that makes sense? And not because he has compromised what and who he is, it's that he knows you accept him, love him for the person he truly is, and he has slowly let the excess fall away, all that baggage that stopped him from fully trusting that what you see, who you love is real and good. So, maybe in Paris, it was just that another curtain dropped, something he was holding onto so hard, that he needed you with him there in that place in order for him to be able to let it go, knowing you'd still love him after?"

She looked up to see John staring at her. "Sorry -"

John caught his breath and blinked. "No - it's fine - it's something to be truly seen, isn't it? Really understood." He stood up, pushed his chair in and leaned down to kiss her forehead. "I'm going to go back to bed - I just need -"

She grinned up at him and gently whispered,"night, John."

"Night, Molly. Thank you."

"Anytime."

 

John went back up the stairs and into their bedroom and standing by the side of the bed, observed the man who slept there, one hand under his cheek, one arm outstretched as if seeking him out. He shook his head and undressed, then slipped back into bed and smiled as Sherlock sensed he had returned and instantly pulled him into his arms tucking him away safely against his chest. "Hmmmm... missed you."

"Missed you too." John closed his eyes and breathed him in, the familiar, specifically Sherlock scents that told him he was home, and soon drifted off to sleep again.


	6. Chapter 6

"Do you have places that still haunt you, Grace?" Sherlock asked her as they sat in front of Emily's stone.

"This place used to. I thought if I got far enough away - started a new life, tried to pretend it didn't matter, then I could be free of the old pain. Didn't work. Had to come back and face it."

Sherlock nodded. "Paris. I nearly died there when I was away. Misjudged a situation. If John had been there, he might've been able to help, or he could've died trying to - and I hadn't told him, Grace. I knew what he was to me then - but I couldn't - if I had let him know I was alive then - so many missteps, Grace."

"But you made it, Sherlock, you made it back to John, it just took a bit more time, it happened when it was supposed to happen, when you were both strong enough to deal with everything." She laid a hand on his shoulder, and he turned to look at her. "You and John are where you are supposed to be, equals in love. He understood when he was meant to understand. This life you have now, it's not because you have enough data, it's a question of faith; a belief in yourself and in him. You had to believe that you were enough for him, that the love you had for him was stronger than anything else - you do know that you are the reason he came back, I don't mean from Afghanistan, I mean in the ambulance, when he died? As you fought to return to him after Mary shot you, he did the same for you. Deep down, you know that to be true, don't you?"

"Yes," Sherlock whispered and bit his lip. "I know if I hadn't been there with him in the ambulance - he - I would have lost him, Grace. He never would have known."

"But you didn't lose him. He's here, and he is completely and utterly yours. You don't have to fight to keep him, Sherlock, he is yours, heart, soul - whatever else he is - he is bound to you as strongly as you are to him. What you did for Gladys and Z, that shows how strong your capacity for love truly is. You knew you had that last battle to fight, you went to the one place that you were haunted by, one more selfless act for someone you love."

Sherlock snorted, but grinned at her. "I kept waiting for someone, or something to take all this away from me, Grace. But, when we got home last night, it finally felt real, solid, mine - no, ours."

Grace nodded and smiled gently at him. "No more ghosts, hmm?"

"No more ghosts, Grace." He squinted up at the sky and shivered. "Look. It's beginning to snow again, I'm going to head inside and put the kettle on, don't stay out too long, hmm?"

She kissed his cheek and watched as he slowly got to his feet, then turned and walked back towards the house. 

"Ah, Em. I wish, how I wish you had known them. I do believe you would have approved, yes, I'm quite certain of it, my dear. I'll be back tomorrow." She closed her eyes and listened to the wind swirl around her for a moment before she stood, and reached out to dust the snow from the stone. "Spring will be here soon, love, before you know it, but I'm beginning not to mind the cold quite as much as I used to."

 

Sherlock stomped his feet at the door, then pulled off his boots. "Snowing again."

"Mum still out there?"

"She's on her way in, want some help with tea?"

John looked up at him and shook his head. "Just waiting for the kettle -" He met Sherlock's eyes and narrowed his eyes at him. "Everything okay?"

Sherlock nodded, then hung his coat up next to John's and walked over to him, kissing him carefully, but thoroughly until John sighed against his lips. "Yes, John, everything's just as it should be."


End file.
